Bishop Reynaldo Domingo's Site

This question is from confused new mom received on 22 October 2008 at 12:26 AM.

bishop rey, may i ask your stand on both parents working to earn a living for their families? it was said families are dying, and so is our society.husbands and wives play a very important role in child rearing specially the mother. do you agree that the female partner is a wife first before she is a mother? is there biblical viewpoint on the father seeking greener pasture yet be away from the family? hoping you can take time to enlighten us please. thank you. 

Thank you for your question. May I first affirm those you said which to me is right. These are –

a. Families are dying today, and so is our society.

b. Husbands and wives play a very important role in child-rearing, especially the mother.

c. The female partner is a wife first before she is a mother.

Now, I will present a piece of my mind on the questions you asked.

1. On “both parents working to earn a living,” to me this is not the ideal set-up. I believe the mother should be the one to care for and provide the physical, emotional and psychological need of the children — not the yayas, aunties or grandparents. However, modern considerations cause many families (especially Filipinos) to choose a way below this ideal. — The economic need, such as education of the children, the high cost of living, the natural desire to own a house and lot of their own, the unwritten demand of the wife’s parents for financial sustenance (having provided her college education), and the desire to experience some luxuries that the society offers. Nevertheless, I observed some working Christian mothers whose creativity in providing quality time for their children greatly compensated their hours of absence from the home.

2. On “father seeking greener pastures… away from the family,” this is the trend among Filipinos for some years now. This brought about disintegration of many families (though I do not have solid statistics). This is so because of financial necessity. Most fathers reluctantly work abroad just for the sake of the family. He is sacrificing the fellowship of his wife and children just to provide them with the economic necessities of life. Modern technology, nevertheless, is of great help. Anytime, families talk and chat together as they see each other in the computer screen. — This greatly reduces the loneliness of the whole family. I have been counselling husbands (or wives) who are earning enough for the basic needs of the family not to consider working abroad (which I believe you mean by “greener pastures”), because the loss tot he family due to the separation far outweighs the financial gain. It is not wrong to seek “greener pastures,” but let the one who seek this see to it that his family is with him.

3. On whether there is a “biblical viewpoint,” here are some verses that can help you in knowing what the Scriptures say on this particular concern, that the father should provide the spiritual leadership of the family.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

Since the father should provide the spiritual leadership of the family, he ought to be with his family, to be able to carry on this God-given responsibility.

Yours in behalf of the million of crying Filipinos,

 
BISHOP REYNALDO DOMINGO
Chairman, IRM Church

NOTE: Bishop Rey encourages open lines of communication with other IRM members or workers. You may click here for instructions on how to send a completely anonymous question or comment for him to address in this website. Thanks!